Friday, December 19, 2008

BURN, BITCH!! BURN

http://www.cfnews13.com/News/Sidebar/2008/7/17/caylee_marie_anthony_disappearance_timeline.html


You will burn for this, you fucking piece of shit.

-Jack Viktor Storm Constantine Freeman

12252008

I have to say that kids these days make me sic k to my stomach. I understand that the problem is coming from their worthless parents, but I have to hear about the kids. There are a million directions to take, this, but since I have been on a bit of an anti-holiday tear as of late, I guess that I will bring up that children complaining about not getting presents for Christmas, while their parents can hardly pay the bills makes me think about birth control. A lot.
There are two ways to look at this; first of all, you have too many kids if you cannot support them without living hand-to-mouth. That’s just the facts. Second, well, you can’t put the kid back, but you wouldn’t have to hear them whine about being the only kid on the block without a Wii, PS3 and XBOX 360 stacked on top of each other and a brand new copy of Call of Duty for each console, if you never got the wild hair to make the ungrateful stain in the first place. I have found that if your kids have that attitude past the age of innocence, then they stay that way as adults. Please, there are enough 20-somethings in Scottsdale, Arizona like that as it is already. More on that later.
I was raised poor. Not the poor that I was able to still hold my head high, and yet thankfully not Appalachian poor, either. No, I was somewhere in the middle. Like there was a lot of eating long-spoiled food, and ill-fitting clothes, bathing in well water (all time favorite, folks), and there were more mornings with no lights than I would care to recall. Out of practice, I don’t celebrate holidays because on my birthdays I was lucky if I got well-wishing- scratch that, I never received as much as a “happy birthday”, so I learned that Christmas was going to just be another day shivering in the garage that I was told was my bedroom (as a fun fact, there was a bedroom that was fully insulated and heated which I was never actually told why I was unable to use).
What is interesting to even me, is that I’m not bitter. On the same side of that Susan B. Anthony, don’t try to curry some sympathy from me because you can’t afford to get your kids everything on their list. Feed them and keep them warm, don’t let them grow up to be me. If they complain, kick the shit out of them. Trust me, it works.

-jack

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Grown-ass Man

I am not your homeboy, your g-dogg, funky fresh beatmaster, or whatever you gleaned from your hours of MTV or (may God Herself Forbid), BET and deemed appropriate to use to address another adult. Just in case you hadn’t been told otherwise, please allow me to make it known that I am not on Earth to entertain you- I don’t care what Lil’ Wayne says. I am not impressed by the terrible excuse for a Jamaican accent that you predictably don to try to get into my good graces when I tell you where my family is from. It would be laughable, if you weren’t so damned ignorant. On that note, I am not growing dreadlocks because you think that “it would look cool”. You obviously have no clue what they represent, and no, I do not think that it is okay that you grew them. My culture is not to be used as your fad, and your culture being devoid of soul, irrevocably unoriginal, and fundamentally vapid is not our fault. Come up with something on your own. I will not freestyle at your parties. My culture, my people are not here for you.

My last name is Freeman, not motherfucking Bojangles.

News Flash: Black people have been in America since the early 1600’s. Guess what? We have been speaking English for almost the entire time. In 2008, I have found that my speech surpasses yours, but don’t you fucking dare assume that I will lower myself and speak as if I was some caricature that you wish to emulate on television as if I didn’t have any class. I understand that you were raised by your television, and that reading books is gay, but unlike the bullshit that you are trying to blackface yourself into, I promise that we are capable of far more than “damn, shit, and that is wack”. This I promise to you. I have seen myself do it millions of times.

What kills me is that I have to endure this in professional situations as well. I have since completely abandoned the club scene, because the American lust for conspicuous consumption and “shine” sickens and bores me, but more on that later. I work in admissions for a university. I expect to be around people whom even if they are lacking, could pretend that they are of some modicum of breeding. An iota, please. I dress professionally, I wear little, if any jewelry, and I speak with impeccable diction and grammar. So why, goddamnit pray tell, do you believe that it is even remotely acceptable to address me as if I was your drug dealer? Never mind the fact that white kids are asking me if I am carrying drugs to sell everywhere I go, I can’t even get the respect that I have earned in my own office!

I bet that I know how I am beginning to seem to some of you, and I am sure that I am coming off as the stereotypical “angry black man” (one can only hope for so much), but you would be too. If not worse, that is. Allow me to explain; consider for a moment, that during your formative years, any depiction found anywhere of the people whom you most resemble are pimps, street hustlers, addicts, cowards, idiots, thugs, gang members, or worse. Now with that negative stereotype galvanizing the perspective of said people, how will you feel when one day, you find an intelligent, respectable, driven, worldly youth of the same culture? I mean this person would have the skills that it would take to make a successful life for themselves as an adult, right?

Geeeyaaaaaaadayum.

Please tell me that you are fucking kidding me.

Growing up, because I used an authority of speech, and read books, I was called an Uncle Tom, and worse. I had to deal with being ostracized by the only people in my community that looked like me because I refused to idolize gangsta rappers and act out with thuggish behavior. I guess my common sense gland was a tad overdeveloped at such a tender age. Getting shot or shot at? No thank you. Living off of the state with no income? Hell no! Eschewing knowledge and success for a family that I could not support and a life of self-hatred and drudgery? Are you insane? Losing my freedom, and going to jail; effectively ruining my chances to live a long, happy, and productive life, not to mention forfeiting my right to vote? Pass.

Don’t you dare try to relate to me with your childish attempts to mock me.


-jack

Monday, December 15, 2008

"This is a farewell... you dog!!"



Damn, all that coke must have given my nigga some superhuman fucking reflexes.



-jack

Saturday, December 13, 2008

State of the Nation Pt:1

The one key component that almost all politicians glaze over without any consideration: the home. If you can teach your children the benefit of taking care of themselves and being a contributing member of society, they WILL ALMOST NEVER LEARN. There are a few inconsistencies, situations in which the child had a great opportunity to do NOTHING with their life. Us, for example. I very well could be in a lee county jail for drugs like 60% of everyone that we grew up with, and if you weren’t born with your entrepreneurial spirit and independence (not to mention inhuman work ethic), you would could have become the greatest Lehigh Special of all. For those who were not born with it, there needs to be less of a safety net, and more of a support system. Children need to learn to stand on their own, and work, for Odin’s sake. Seriously. I hate listening to kids (and adults, for that matter) these days. They don’t care. The entitlement that they believe that everything that they want, they deserve, regardless of whether they worked for it or not. Even worse, is those who are beaten down by their surroundings, their family, dragged down by their peers, and never learn to believe in themselves. They spend their entire lives just barely surviving and waiting to die. It makes me sick, and it makes me want to cry.



-jack

Friday, December 12, 2008

Caylee Marie Anthony

July 15th, 2008, a 911 call was placed by Cindy Anthony. She showed concern that she had not seen her granddaughter for several weeks, and a strange smell gave her cause for alarm.

July 17th, 2008, Casey is charged with child neglect, lying to investigators and interfering with a criminal investigation.

July 22nd, the judge sets a $500,000 bail. Not bad.

August 9th, Caylee would be three.

August 20th, Leonard and Tony Padilla post Casey's bond (what the fuck?)

August 29th, Casey is rearrested on unrelated charges.

Aug. 30th, Casey's new bond is set for charges other than Caylee's disappearance. Regardless of wether or not the new bond is posted, she remains in jail.

Sept. 5, Anonymous $500,000 bond post releases Casey Anthony.

Sept. 15, Casey again is taken into custody, though not for charges concerning her daughter.

Sept. 16, Again, she is released on bond; again, she is fitted with an ankle bracelet.

Oct. 14, Casey Anthony is indicted on seven counts, including murder one, aggravated child abuse, aggravated manslaughter and four counts of providing false information.

Oct. 15, No bond.

Oct. 24, Hair that resembles hair from her daughter's hair brush and chloroform are found in her trunk.

Fast forward to December 11, 2008.

"Judge Stan Strickland postpones the murder trial of Casey Anthony. A new status hearing is set for Jan. 15. Jose Baez files motion to preserve and inspect evidence and forensics in Thursday's discovery of remains found one-quarter of a mile away from the Anthony home."

December 12, authorities state that the remains are possibly that of Caylee Anthony based off the age, size, measurements, and location (less than a half-mile from the home). DNA results should be in within the next 14 days.

I had to listen to that child sing. If your daughter was dropped in a bag in the woods to be pissed on by a meter reader, burn, bitch. I hope you fucking burn. I will smile as you burn, you fucking pig bitch.



***I took all of my info from a Central Florida news website
http://www.cfnews13.com/News/Sidebar/2008/7/17/caylee_marie_anthony_disappearance_timeline.html?refresh=1



-jack

I know just enough to know that I don’t know shit.


In twenty six years, I have found that though smarter than many of my peers, I still don’t know a damned thing. There are entire worlds of knowledge, and disciplines of thought that I will never even hear about in my lifetime. There are songs from genres that I will never hear, books authored by people from countries that I will never be able to find on a map. There are approximately 6.7 billion (with a fucking capital goddamn “B”) people on this planet. I will meet, maybe- one hundred thousand, to pull a number out of my ass, but that is 1/60,000!!

Keep all of that in your bean for a second; with all of that knowledge, and wisdom, and experience- much predating modern memory by thousands of years, what exactly gives anyone the gall to say that their religion is the one true Way?

Do you know? I’ll wait…

Nothing? Really? Huh. You don’t say… Here’s where I make it about me again. For some background, I was raised in a Christian household. My mother is a Jehovah’s Witness, and much of the rest of my family is either non-practicing or Agnostic. I hold on to my Judeo-Christian beliefs at the core, but I realize that there were religions LONG before mine, and even though I pray to Yahweh, I don’t ignore similarities between the nine biggest religions on Earth (link)- not only do they share messages, many of them have the same figures at the core!

If you couldn’t tell before now, I am not the best representative for any religion. I drink, I used to do drugs, I profane, and I don’t really care about how others see me. I don’t attend any particular place of worship, either. I had one last bad experience, so I am wary. More on that later. I don’t want to be the guy who plays the pious man in public, but is a heathen in private. I am always honest about my faults and failings. It’s painful, but the other option is being a discredit to my faith. No reason to lie.

What really bugs the hell out of me is when people try to do the holier-than-thou, but is just as much of a secular bastard as I am. If you are hellbound, on Monday, don’t bother being heavenly on Sunday. Own it. I just hate to hear people talk about love and acceptance and kindness… as long as you are a member of their religion, or their church, or on the particular board at the church, or worship on the right nights. Honestly, truthfully, and with my entire heart…

Fuck you.


-jack

I Love Porno

No, really nothing more to say than that. I love porno, and so do you.



-jack

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Being a vegetarian in an omnivorous society is tough. Trying to be one sucks fat nuts.

I have tried in the past several times, for one reason or another- it never stuck because I never did it for myself- that was the problem. Recently, I decided that it would be better for me, and I feel great by comparison. Unlike many others, I didn't just drop off the edge of the meat-eating planet, I transition foods out of my diet. First that had to go was drive thru beef, so I had a "Last Supper" for In-and-Out. Two double doubles and animal fries. I was sick for a fucking week, and it was goddamned worth it. FUCK, it was delicious. Next was pork, which was a surprise as to how painful it would be to let it go. Sausages, hot dogs, bacon- sweet JAYSUS, letting bacon go was worse than losing a first born child. I would rather spike a baby than have to go through that again.

Excluding red meat from my diet did a real number on me. Including but not limited to:

Granting a more acute and developed sense of taste.
Average American makes their meals with the majority of the focus on the meat; the vegetables and sides are afterthoughts. Consider for a moment what it means if the main focus of the meal is the vegetables. While cooking, one would have to take serious consideration in the preparation of their food. Spices aren't just window dressing- they make and break a meal.

A significant decrease in muscle mass.
I saw this one coming, it just happened way faster than I thought. I dropped about twenty pounds in a month, and with the fat, a lot of muscle went as well. Partially because I changed my workout habits, and stopped power lifting, partially because I was a bit B12 deficient. That, and I wasn't making up all of the animal proteins that I was losing with the cow and buffalo. In fact, I wasn't replacing them with green leafies, either. In short, I got lazy, which is a murderer of young vegetarians. I started supplementing properly again and I upped the fish proteins and veggie intake. I'm still much weaker than I was before, but after some serious consideration, I realized how little I needed THAT MUCH MUSCLE. It's fun to have, but there are very few practical applications in my day to day life.

I became intolerant to poor ingredients and preparation.
I'll get into in a minute, but if the food sucks, I gag. I can't eat poorly made food. This means that I only have maybe three friends who can cook for me, and if I am too tired or lazy to cook a proper meal, I just go without (such a bad idea). There is also a shrinking list of restaurants that I can go to eat. Wanna see? Of course you do.


Here is a list of my favorite fast food places
In-and-Out
Carl's Jr
Taco Bell
Del Taco
Jack in the Box
KFC
Wendy's
Long John Silver's
Samurai Sam's
Kyoto Bowl
Panda Express

List of fast food places that I can still go to.
Samurai Sam's
Kyoto Bowl

...fuck. Note that Burger King and McDonald's aren't on there. I haven't been able to eat from there in years.

Getting a quick meal isn't as easy as it used to be. No worries, I don't feel as if my colon is a septic tank anymore. I mean, if I have a hamburger now, I'll miss two days of work, and if I find myself back on the east coast and within a day's drive of White Castle, I don't care if I would spend a week in the ICU, I am down with a 10 sack with two extra orders of chicken rings. MUST. HAVE. IN. BELLY.

Next time, I'll go over a few recipes.


-jack

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Holidays and Why I Hate Them

“You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You really are a heel. You're as cuddly as a cactus, You're as charming as an eel...”

All that, and he just wanted some quiet. There are three main reasons why I am so misanthropic and apathetic towards the holiday season.

It's the least wonderful time of the year.
I keep hearing about how the Christmas season brings the best out of people, but there are two points that I want to bring up. First, as my nigga Miguel just wrote about, and I am sure you heard on the news concerning the Black Friday debacle that resulted in several injuries including a trampled pregnant woman, and a guy was trampled to fucking DEATH. You motherfuckers just want to get presents, you don't give a shit about the true meaning of Christmas. Fuck you.
Point number two is a personal question; "why are you waiting an entire year to act like a fucking human being?". Even when you can't be bothered to do so, why are you such cunts that you have to make me look like I pray for the burning of babies every day just because I don't partake in your pagan hallmark holiday? I don't mind that you celebrate, but don't try to ostracize me for you being a greedy, selfish twat on every day but the 25th.

Uh… it’s not Jesus’ birthday
Yeah, you should read a book or two. Not his birthday. Don't believe me? When did the Romans celebrate the Winter Solstice? Or ANYONE ELSE? Give up? It's okay. I'll just tell you. You must be tired from the Christmas shopping. It's December 25th. Yeah, we are celebrating on that day because... well, because everyone else is, too. So fuck yourself with a ladle.

Too much work
...and people keep ruining it. How many movies are there that are just about ruined holidays? Normally it's the people who are the most dead-set on the holiday that fuck them up for everyone. The last Thanksgiving and Christmas that I celebrated? Ruined by the same fucker who berated me for not wanting to go. Who the fuck wants to spend all that time doing shit that you could just do any other day of the year without the work? Bollocks, I say.



-jack

Things That I Loathe to Hear Pt:1



I don’t know what possesses you, white people. Is there something in the water? First of all, you should count yourself quite lucky that a black person is willing to hang around your ignorant ass. When people first notice me, they take away two things; I am larger than the average person, and I am nothing like the stereotypes that they see on MTV, and other bullshit television. I don’t speak in Ebonics or poor English. I dress like an adult, and my pants stay at my waist, and they are a size appropriate for my body (because they fucking fit). I don’t wear ostentatious or fake jewelry, and I seldom discuss money unless it is pertinent to the conversation. Oh, and I don’t refer to women as “bitches” or “hoes”.


With all of that said, I can understand how you, inbred, toothless yokel, can think that my appearance, my speech, and my educational background could mean that I am trying to be white. What I don’t understand is that if that is my intention, what in the name of fuck are you trying to be, you unwashed, foul-smelling, uneducated waste of shit-stained seminal fluid? I am not “trying” to be anything, save for perhaps in a different room. Sounding like this, acting like this, looking like this; I am not whiter than you- I am better than you. Just because you have no sense of racial identity because your parents (giving you the benefit of the doubt that you had both) couldn’t think of a better way to rear their (possibly multiple) children other than plopping them in front of the television with no supervision and guidance does not mean that I am going to accept you because of your poor grasp of the incumbent language of the country that you were born in (that would be English). By the by- the barefoot, diaper and Kool-Aid smile baby look- the one in the middle of Wal-mart? You know the one, you got one baby on the hip, another more-than-half naked, roaming on foot, and you are at lease six months and showing? Yeah? Remember that? Pure, unbridled perfection. I love it. Keep it up.


But I digress…


The next time you are lucky enough to meet someone like me, keep in mind, that the phrase “you are the whitest black person I know” is likely to leave you either reprimanded by one of your betters, or toothless. Though the latter may seem more extreme, they would probably be doing you a favor since your hygiene is so lacking, it’s hard to believe that a toothbrush has seen the inside of your mouth.



-jack

Monday, December 8, 2008

Fuck you

What a stellar title to a first post. I would talk about everything that is going well in my life right now, but there isn't anything. I am falling apart at the seams. My life is a joke. I don't have any friends, I can't stop drinking, and I can't stand to be around for more than a few minutes. Every worthwhile relationship with a woman that I have had since I left my wife has turned to ash between my fingers. I haven't been keeping up with my writing, and Comic Foundry, whom I used to work for, just folded last week. If there is a reason to not throat fuck a shotgun and invest in a one-wall paint job, keep it to yourself.


-jack